Monday, November 30, 2009

Mondays.....

'New Moon' got you down? How about some real horror movies. Here's this week's new DVD releases:

Silent Night, Deadly Night III, IV, & V [Box Set] - SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3: BETTER WATCH OUT! - Ricky Caldwell, the notorious "Killer Santa Claus," awakens from a six-year coma after being kept alive on life-support by a slightly crazed doctor experimenting with ESP and other special abilities. Ricky targets a young, clairvoyant blind woman named Laura, who is traveling with her brother Chris and his girlfriend Jerri to their grandmothers house for Christmas Eve. Ricky decides to go after her, leaving a trail of dead bodies in his wake. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION - A female reporter investigates the death of a woman who, while on fire, leapt off a building to her death. Her investigation leads her to discover the existence of a strange cult dedicated to the Egyptian god Isis--and the cult wants her as its new queen. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOY MAKER - A young boy sees his father killed by a toy that was anonymously delivered to his house. After that, he is too traumatized to speak, and his mother must deal with both him and the loss of her husband. Meanwhile, a toy maker named Joe Petto builds some suspicious-looking toys, and a mysterious man creeps around both the toy store and the boys house...but who is responsible for the killer toys?

Deadline (2009) - Alice, an artist recovering from a psychological breakdown, retreats to a remote Victorian house to convalesce and focus on finishing her screenplay in time for a fast approaching deadline. When she begins hearing strange sounds and seeing apparitions, Alice searches for the source, only to find disturbing videotapes in the attic. Fascinated by her discovery, Alice digs deeper to uncover the mysterious story of the couple on the tapes, sending her on a twisting and terrifying pursuit to find out what is behind the endless mind games.

Knife of Ice (1972) - As a thirteen year old, Martha Caldwell witnessed the death of her parents in a terrible railway accident. Barely surviving the tragedy herself, Martha was struck dumb due to the shock. Now an adult, the still mute Martha lives with her uncle Ralph in the Spanish countryside. Martha's cousin Jenny arrives to be with the family but is quickly stabbed to death. It appears that a sex maniac is roaming the countryside; killing pretty young girls. The already traumatized Martha seems likely to be the next victim but the case turns out to be far more complicated than it would first seem.

Deader Country (2009) - Two teenagers stumble across a strange hybrid creature, a beast that is half man, half alien and ALL zombie, which has managed to make its way unseen across desolate countryside to the town of Pleasance. Upon nursing the mutated zombie back to health, the teens unwittingly unleash a deadly new plague of the undead on the town s populace. Now with a conscience and accompanied by a small group of eccentric locals, Orion is back to help battle the second legion of zombies. However, he is soon to discover a startling revelation that will alter the very fabric of his existence... ZOMBIES! NAKED NYMPHS! ALIENS! ANIMATED CATS! WARLOCKS! CYBORGS! STRANGE HYBRID CREATURES! NUDE VIXENS & GHOSTLY APPARITIONS!

Sins of the Father (2009) - Peter Jacobs returns to Fairview Falls to uncover the truth behind his family s murder. Every step he takes brings him closer to the Black Rose Killer, Ethan Fernier. Peter gets more than he bargained for when he discovers that Ethan is dying and his chance to bring him to justice is slipping away. One man will stop at nothing to find the truth. Another fights to live long enough to tell his story. Their destinies lie in the shadow of the Black Rose Killer.

Poker Run (2008) - Weekend bikers Robert and Allan are plunged into a world of horrifying violence when their wives are abducted by a pair of psychopaths. The two desperate men are forced to follow a series of frighteningly bizarre clues that includes several terrifying tasks that will leave the sweltering Mojave Desert awash in blood.

Little Red Devil - Jimmy Lidell is a nobody, stealing to earn a living in a dead-end life and searching for his long lost girlfriend. When Jimmy meets Luc Tyer, a bigger-than-life underworld heavy, Luc makes him an offer he can't refuse. Jimmy accepts, but is leery about the secret motives behind Luc's willingness to teach the business. Jimmy's religious Mother suspects that Jimmy may be running with the wrong crowd, but Jimmy turns a deaf ear to her spiritual warnings. Luc soon reveals his plans to use Jimmy as his unholy servant in a deadly and bloody game of evil revenge and power while Jimmy decends further and further into a world of sinister corruption and satanic designs.

Some great looking stuff this week. That Silent Night Deadly Night box set would make a great christmas gift for the horror fan in your life. If you are disappointed by any of these films just remember: it' most likely better than the Twilight saga.

How Many Ninja Assassins Does It Take To Kill A Ninja Assassin?

Ninja Assassin (2009)

Directed By: James McTeigue

Written By: Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski

Why are you reviewing this? It's not horror, is it? Well reader let me explain. 'Ninja Assassin' is not a horror movie at all. It is most definitely a balls to the wall action movie. Why is it being reviewed on a horror website you ask? Here is my reason: 'Ninja Assassin' is THE BLOODIEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. Yes, it is bloodier than Peter Jackson's 'Dead Alive'. This movie's biggest downfall however is its selling point. The blood and gore effects are ALL done in CGI. There are occasional props and squibs used here and there, but for the most part, it's all done with computers. If you have read any of my other reviews, you will know that CG blood is my BIGGEST pet peeve when it comes to horror films/films in general. Anyways, 'Ninja Assassin' is about a man raised by a secret ninja society who goes rogue after disobeying his leaders orders. Now, he is constantly on the run from his former ninja clan and other ninjas hired to kill him. While being on the run, he vows to protect those being hunted by his old clan in order to get closer to his former leader and rid the world of him once and for all. Basically, he is being chased while doing some of his own chasing. For the first 45 minutes of this movie, we flashback to Raizo, our ninja hero, an get a glimpse of the intense training he went through in order to become a master ninja. After the flashbacks, we are treated to one of the most balls to the wall action movie of this decade. Blades, Shurikens, and body parts fly all over the screen as Raizo fights off what seems like millions of ninjas constantly swarming him. I really wish they just used fake blood instead of using CGI, because all of the action sequences would have looked so much cooler and so much more brutal. It just became cheesy after a while. But, times is hard and CGI is easier and less time consuming. Overall, 'Ninja Assassin' was fucking awesome. The only reason why it's getting the score that it's getting is because of the excessive use of CGI blood and gore. 'Ninja Assassin' gets a 7/10.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Weekend Poster Extravaganza!







Quiz of the Week

Last Week's Answer: Phantasm


What triple feature film is this little guy from and which segment does he appear in?



Wednesday, November 25, 2009

This Just In!

FROM BLOODY-DISGUSTING.COM:

After announceing Green's return to the director's chair, we caught up with him to chat briefly about HATCHET 2, which begins lensing this coming January in Los Angeles, CA.First and foremost, Green agreed to return because Anchor Bay agreed to let him make the sequel he wants, and not a broader film. In addition, Green plans on doubling the body count. Makeup effects coordinator Robert Pendergraft (face rip kill) returns and promises a new, improved look for Victory Crowley.Horror icon Kane Hodder is confirmed to return as Victor Crowley/Mr. Crowley, with Tony Todd returning as Reverend Zombie and John Carl Buechler as Jack Cracker. A new addition to the cast is R.A. Mihailoff, who plays Leatherface in Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.Unfortunately, Marybeth (originally played by Tamara Feldman) is being recast. "We're going in a different direction and will announce our new hero very soon as it's someone we are overjoyed to bring into our family," says Green.Cinematographer Will Barratt returns along with original producers Sarah Elbert and Cory Neal.HATCHET 2 follows Marybeth as she escapes from the clutches of Victor Crowley, learns the truth about his curse, and heads back into the haunted New Orleans swamp to seek revenge for her family and kill Victor Crowley once and for all...

Well i'm officially super fucking excited. 'Hatchet' was one of my favorite films of 2006 and when I heard that Anchor Bay was thinking about making the sequel without Adam Green and without the original crew who worked on the first film, I was pissed. Now that it's confirmed that most of the same cast and crew will be returning to the sequel, I can finally sleep easy. Mr. Crowley, bring on the gore.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mondays....

Monday again? Already? Blah. Oh well....new DVD's tomorrow!!!:

Slaughtered Vomit Dolls - What happens to a woman when she is abused by her parents, becomes a runaway at the tender age of 14, is molested by a local priest who takes her in and is then used and abused by nearly everyone she comes into contact with? For Angela Aberdeen the answer is to turn away from the human race and all earthly reality by making a sacred pact with Satan. After enlisting his protection in return for her eternal soul, her first act is to burn down the priest s church as he lays passed out drunk on the floor. She then flees to the city where she develops a horrible addiction to alcohol and drugs. Angela quickly spirals downward in her journal to Hell. Stripping turns to pornography and prostitution and as her deadly addictions tear her body apart, she realizes that even Satan has seemingly forsaken her.

The Witches Hammer (2006) - Rebecca is brought back from the brink of death by top secret agency Project 571. She is trained as a lethal assassin and sent on missions to kill that which she has become, a vampire. When Project 571 is destroyed by a gang of vampires, Rebecca is thrown into a quest for an ancient book powerful enough to raise the dead. Rebecca joins two priests on a journey to kill the master vampire Hugo Renoir before he can unleash the grotesque souls of the damned into our dimension. If Hugo is allowed to perform the ancient ceremony the earth shall forever pass into the realm of darkness. Along the way Rebecca must utilize her training to face Vampires, Demons and Witches all vying for the book and its awesome power.

Philosophy of a Knife (2008) - The true history of Japanese Unit 731, from its beginnings in the 1930's to its demise in 1945, and the subsequent trials in Khabarovsk, USSR, of many of the Japanese doctors from Unit 731. The facts are told, and previously unknown evidence is revealed by an eyewitness to these events, former doctor and military translator, Anatoly Protasov. Part documentary and part feature, the story is shown from the perspective of a young Japanese nurse who witnessed many of horrors, and a young Japanese officer who is torn between his sincere convictions that he is serving the greater purpose, and the deep sympathy he feels for an imprisoned Russian girl. His life is a living hell as he's compelled to carry out atrocious experiments on the other prisoners, using them as guinea pigs in this shocking tale of mankind's barbarity.

This Hollow Sacrament (2007) - Based on true events, the story revolves around the murder of four young women in Northern California in the late 1990s and the subsequent criminal investigation. The film follows the story of a tortured ex-soldier, now police detective, as he and his partner attempt to track down a bizarre series of disappearances, and the brutal slaying of the young women. Director Greg Stechman is an original voice in the popular serial killer subgenre. In This Hollow Sacrament, his debut film, he drags you kicking and screaming into the depth of hell and doesn't let you up for air.

Not a whole lot out this week. I hear , however, that 'Philosophy of a Knife' is one of the best films of 2008. If you're going to try any of these out, I would definitely go for that one.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Quiz of the Week!

Last Week's Answer: The Untold Story




Name This Movie:


Monday, November 16, 2009

Classic '60's Zingers

Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! (1965)

Directed By: Russ Meyer

Tagline: Superwomen! Belted, buckled and booted!

Russ Meyer is at it again with more grind house type sleaze. This time around he pays tribute to the beauty, power, intelligence, and violence inside women instead of just sexploiting them. When a person thinks about watching a Russ Meyer film, they usually expect to see TONS of boobs, gratuitous nudity, and silly sexcapades. None of that in here. 'Faster Pussycat' is about three thrill seeking go-go dancers racing their cars in the desert looking for the next big adrenaline rush. While at a gas station, they catch a tip that an old man living in the area has a fortune hidden somewhere on his land. These busty beauties unanimously agree to go to this man's house and rob him of everything he has. Arriving at the home, the girls realise this is going to be harder than they thought. The old man has two sons: One a blubbering muscle headed oaf and they other a cool, calm, and collected intelligent man. Through the use of their god given talents, their quick thinking, and violent nature, the women get what they want, but pay the ultimate price for it. 'Faster' is a great movie. The way Russ Meyer portrays these women is excellent, definitely a refreshing break from all of the dumb bimbo flesh films of the era. The casting was absolutely perfect. Tura Satana, Haji, and Lori Williams are all beautiful actresses and fit these roles amazingly. One complaint I have is the super slow speed chase toward the end of the movie. Everything else in this film is so quick and fast paced and this scene sort of kills the tension and is kind of a bore. Other than that, pretty women, original story, great acting, witty dialogue, silly one liners, and fast paced action(for the most part) make this film one not to be missed. It is a very hard to find film and can be very pricey. If you have the opportunity to rent it, please do. 'Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!' gets an 8.5/10.


Mondays...

Woooooooo! Yay another monday! Aren't you all excited? No? What the hell is wrong with you? Tomorrow is tuesday! New Releases!:

Silent Scream (1980) - Young co-ed Scotty is unable to find housing on the campus.She finds a vacancy at the Engels' mansion, now a boarding house for college students.Mrs. Engels and her son seem nice enough, but it becomes clear to Scotty that something is not right at her new residence.When her fellow borders begin dying, two detectives must solve the mystery of the Engels' boarding house before the body count rises.

Rituals (1978) - Mitzi invites a fellow Doctor Harry and two other doctors to go on a camping trip in middle of nowhere in the Canadian mountains. They think they are alone but a psycopath is hot on their trail, turning a nice getaway into a vacation from hell!

The Canyon (2009) - Honeymooners Nick and Lori head off to the Grand Canyon for adventure and time alone together. Upon arriving, they hire Henry as their guide, who seems to have his own idea about the outdoor excursion. When tragedy strikes, the newlyweds must fend for themselves. Discovering they are prey being hunted by something or someone, they desperately fight for survival.

Thankskilling (2009) - An evil turkey is unleashed...and he s one fowl mouthed bastard! Five college kids heading home for Thanksgiving break cross paths with the turkey, who s possessed by an ancient Indian curse. In this hilariously gory spoof, the teens must stop the maniac bird before he kills them all!

Hunchback of the Morgue (1972) - Gotho, a moronic hunchback employed in a hospital morgue, is deeply in love with Ilse, but it's an ill-fated relationship. Ilsa is terminally ill with tuberculosis and dies shortly after. Out of his mind for the loss, Gotho steals her corpse, killing the medical students who are going to dissect it, and hides her in an underground crypt. Dr. Orla, a mad biologist, promises Gotho that he will revive Ilsa, but Gotho will have to provide him with dead - and live - bodies for his terrible experiments.

Hanger (2009) - Eighteen years ago, nine-months-pregnant Rose, a wrong-side-of-the-tracks prostitute, was killed when her pimp gave her an abortion with a hanger. Now, the deformed, surviving child, who was thrown in the dumpster, left for dead and mockingly called Hanger, is about to settle the score and any street trash, sex degenerate of murderous pimp better beware.

Breaking Nikki (2009) - A call girl is hired to play the part of a client's ex-wife. However, little does she realize that she is the victim of his dark revenge, as she finds herself trapped in a sick game that is about to spiral bloodily out of control!

Basement Jack (2009) - A young serial killer preys on families during lightning storms.

I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle (1989) - When a Satanist biker is killed by a gang of Hells Angels, an evil spirit he was summoning possesses his old Norton Commando motorcycle. So when unsuspecting local courier Nick "Noddy" Oddie becomes the bike's new owner, little does he know that it runs on blood and has a habit for killing Hells Angels and anyone else who gets in the way!

Call of the Hunter (2009) - In the summer of 1962, three teenagers went on a camping trip into Herongate Woods. What started out as a fun trip ended in a nightmare as one of the boys met with a tragic death. The other two escaped, but could only relay a tail of a hooded and horned man who terrorized them. Forty years later, one of the survivors meets with a mysterious and tragic death and the only survivor returns to the scene of the original incident with a documentary crew. As members of the crew die in horrible circumstances the survivors are on a desperate search to find what the spirit of the forest wants before it s too late!

Vampire Party (2008) - Best friends and hardcore partiers Sam, Alice and Prune have scored invitations to Medici Night , the legendary VIP bash held every year at a remote castle. But when they discover that this wild party is being thrown by an elite race of blood-crazed vampires, they ll have to stake, stab, slice, bludgeon and blast their way out of a soiree where the hosts are thirsty and the bar is now open.

Taintlight (2009) - Riding the lofty coattails of the international tween sensation, TAINTLIGHT is the tale of Stella, a young girl who falls in love with an ancient, beautifully-behaired bloodsucker named Edgar. They struggle to stay together in the midst of vampire carnage, but a love triangle bubbles up when a Michael Jackson-loving werewolf named Jack comes forward professing his own love for Stella. Meanwhile, a rival group of "real" vampires led by the evil Razor McBleed are on the prowl, looking to put the stake to Edgar so they can feast on Stella and the rest of Bonejack Heights

Wow, there's some awesome stuff being released tomorrow! Some creepy films, brutal films, funny films, this week has it all! Feel free to write up your own review of any of these films you view in the comments section of this article. Enjoy!